What makes us as women want to be Superwoman? As a sophomore in college, I remember reading Arlie Hochschild’s book The Second Shift. In this book, she explained a phenomenon called “the stalled revolution.”
The women’s rights movement was able to get women out of the house and into gainful employment.
However, “the stalled revolution” suggests that while there were some victories in regards to gender equality in workplace employment, the home life and responsibilities of women were largely kept the same. This in turn may lead to burnout, chronic stress, and added anxiety. Due to being thinly stretched, resentments are causing women to lose the love and respect for their partners.
So who sets these expectations? We have already acknowledged that part of the expectation is set by society. However, if being “superwomen” comes at the price of experiencing burnout, added stress, and general unhappiness, is it worth it? You and your partner can develop a plan and decide if you want to accept the expectations of society or develop your own.
The generations before us started a revolution, and now it is our responsibility to continue to progress and not let the changes stagnate and slowly sink us.
Below are some tips to help shift to a healthier life balance.
- Negotiate responsibilities – Often women want to keep the peace. Instead of arguing or getting frustrated when negotiating responsibilities it is easier to just complete the task. Negotiating takes time and effort, but it is critical in order to have a balanced lifestyle and to be the best version of yourself.
- Ask for help – Accept that you are human. Don’t let guilt and ego get in the way of asking for help.
- Self-Care – Find a hobby that truly relaxes you. Set aside a time for you to recharge and reenergize. This will translate into being a better partner, a better mom, and a better person.
- Don’t keep score – Nothing is ever 50/50. However, find a balance that works for you and your partner. Not every couple is the same, and it is crucial to collaborate together and develop a plan that works for your family.
- Accept failure – Failure is a part of learning. Learning enables individuals to explore different pathways that will lead them to a healthier balance. Don’t be afraid to take risks or go against the status quo.
If you didn’t catch it, check out the first part of this series!
Chelsey Beauchamp, MS
cbeauchamp @ growcounseling.com