Is my teen just a “normal, moody” kid experiencing the roller coaster of their changing bodies and a desire to fit in and belong? Or is it depression?

This is just one of the many ways find it difficult to understand their teens these days. It’s important to pay careful attention to your teen’s behavior. Even if they won’t talk to you, their actions might just tell you what’s going on.

Warning Signs of Depression

• Low self-esteem
• Lack of confidence in decision-making
• Withdrawal/Isolation: this can look like spending more time in their bedroom or less time with friends
• Change in eating patterns or eating too little or too much
• Too little or too much sleep
• Staying up late and difficulty getting up and going in the morning
• Irritable and/or frequently frustrated
• Lashing-out or behavioral problems
• Self-harm (including cutting)
• Critical to self and overly sensitive to rejection
• Physical agitation or slowness, pacing back and forth, and/or excessive or repetitive behaviors
• Poor performance in school or drop in grades
• Frequent complaints of physical pain
• Writing about death; giving away favorite belongings; comments like “You’d be better off without me.”

Factors of Increased Risk for Depression

• Suicide of a friend/neighbor/classmate
• Recent family change including divorce of parents, job loss of a parent, or financial stress at home
• Recent move of location or school
• Transitioning from middle school to high school (or high school to college)
• Recent loss including death of a family member, friend, or loved family pet
• Questioning sexual identity and/or gender identification
• Experiencing peer problems or bullying (including cyber bullying)
• Victim or witness of violence or abuse
• Few friends
• Chronic medical illness
• Abuse of alcohol or drugs
• Having a parent or relative with history of depression or other mental illnesses
• Parent who has completed suicide
• Family dynamic is one of conflict and not unity

If you see any of these warning signs in your teen, take it as a flag that they might have depression. Teenagers in general can experience some of these symptoms at times without it meaning they have depression. However, it is very important to note teens experiencing depression usually do not exhibit all of these warning signs (in fact, you might only pick up on a couple of these signs). Remember that depression is not just a feeling, but also a clinically significant problem that needs to be treated. Depression can include, but does not always include, suicidal thinking. This is not something you want to “wait out” and see if it “goes away.” 

What we see in the counseling office is that as much as parents care about their children and “know” their children, parents many times are not able to determine the state of their teen’s mental health. This is where therapists, psychologists, and psychiatrists come in. If and when you run into questions about your children’s mental health and wellbeing, consult a Mental Health Professional.

Mary Overstreet, LAMFT

moverstreet@ GROWcounseling.com