Maybe you’ve just met someone who seems very promising. Or maybe you’ve been casually dating a new love interest for a few weeks or months. The holiday season approaches and you wonder where the “relationship” stands. This time of the year naturally brings some pressure and expectations with it. You would love to be in a comfortable dating relationship where you know what to expect between Thanksgiving and New Year’s, but, unfortunately, you’re not quite there yet. What to do?

Some people break up before or around this time of year out of fear of not knowing how to handle the pressure of the holidays. Others are single and wanting to meet someone, but avoid trying to do this during the holiday season because it can be so complicated and uncomfortable. There is no doubt that trying to date during the holidays can be tricky, especially if it’s a relatively new relationship or you’ve only been dating casually.

Over the next few weeks I’ll provide you with some tips for figuring out how to date during the holidays. Here’s the first one:

Don’t Rush the “Define the Relationship” Conversations

If you’ve recently started going out with someone, the holiday season can make you want to prematurely “define the relationship.” However, it is simply not the time to ask where the relationship is going or how he/she feels about you, etc. It’s too much pressure and makes you appear desperate or needy. Instead, assume the relationship is less serious and focus on having fun over the holidays. Spend time getting to know your date and developing the friendship part of the relationship. If you assume less, you will create an atmosphere of less pressure which will bring more possibility of the relationship continuing. Save serious conversations for January.

Stacey Wald, LAPC, RD

Swald @ growcounseling.com