Taxes.  A controversial topic to be sure.  Some of us pay a much higher rate than we would like. Everyone pays.  Recently, as I was working on my return (and complaining) I was struck with the thought of how I implement a form of taxes in relationships.

Maybe you do the same thing.  Sometimes there is a toll I want to charge for the benefit of my time and energy.  I often demand someone contribute at the percentage ratio I think they should be giving.  Sometimes the rate is exorbitant.

What is modeled by our parents and siblings often carries over into adult relationships without any awareness of how we are interacting.  Often we continue unhealthy patterns of relating which can take its toll on relationships.  Some individuals willingly pay a very high rate in the emotional tax bracket, handing over all that is asked of them, never assessing their contribution or setting limits.  There are others who demand a very low rate, meanwhile expecting no bumps in the road even when they have not invested in the infrastructure.   It may be time to review what your relational tax records contain.  What are you demanding or contributing in taxes?

Marlayne Whitlock, LAPC
mwhitlock@ GROWcounseling.com