If you’ve been married for any length of time, you’ve probably experienced a few ups and downs in your relationship. But do you ever wonder about the health of your marriage? In his book, “The Science of Trust,” Dr. John Gottman discusses that, even though healthy marriages can vary greatly … Read More
Grief That Doesn’t Fit In: Part 2
In part 1 of this series, we took a look at disenfranchised grief. Disenfranchised grief is the category that covers grief that doesn’t have a socially accepted place to be recognized or expressed. Basically, it is the “ugly duckling” grief that people feel they have to hide because others won’t … Read More
Grief That Doesn’t Fit In: Part 1
There are tons of books, podcasts, shows, and blogs that address the topic of grief. Everyone experiences grief at some point in their life. It is the emotion that results when something or someone important to you is no longer in your life. Mourning is what happens when grief goes … Read More
Leaking is a Toxic Behavior Parents should Avoid: Part 1
What is leaking? Leaking is a term coined by Dr. Patricia Papernow, step-family and post-divorce expert, which describes what parents do and say to blame and/or undermine the other parent in the presence of their children. In my practice, I hear examples of leaking from many parents contemplating a divorce. … Read More
Complain, but Don’t Criticize
If you are in a committed relationship, you are occasionally going to complain about your partner. Valid complaints help us grow and become better partners. But how do you complain without it resulting in a fight? The key is to soften how the complaint is voiced. In Dr. John Gottman’s research, … Read More
Habits: Avoiding the Hamster Wheel
Making and breaking habits is hard work. Knowingly or unknowingly, much of our lives operate from the habits we have chosen. How we think, eat, exercise, inter-relate or work are examples of established habits. How do we strengthen good habits and interrupt unwanted habits? C. S. Lewis once said; “Every … Read More
Estate Planning: How to Take Care of Your Loved Ones
What better time to plan and prepare for your future through estate planning than right now? I recently sat down with an estate planner and wanted to share insights I’ve gained in hopes to encourage you to examine the benefits of planning to take care of your loved ones once … Read More
Emotions and Divorce
When the idea of divorce becomes an unwelcome reality, there are a lot of emotions that drive decision making. Even if you’ve determined to be as gracious and collaborative as possible, guilt, fear, shame, anger, hurt, and pain all make pretty quick appearances. Sometimes people are really caught off guard … Read More
Divorce: Dad or Mom left…now what?
Navigating divorce is difficult. There are many causes for divorce. A few of these are: Affairs Grown apart/fallen out of love Addiction Incompatible Divorce becomes even more complex when there are children involved. Many times, parents become bitter and angry towards each other and it is hard to treat each … Read More
Experiencing Positive Change in Your Relationships
As a marriage and family therapist, the biggest hurdle that I see individuals and couples face in realizing the goals for their relationships is that they keep doing what they have been doing, in spite of having learned a better way. So, as the Nike ad says, “Just do it.” … Read More