As a marriage and family therapist, the biggest hurdle that I see individuals and couples face in realizing the goals for their relationships is that they keep doing what they have been doing, in spite of having learned a better way. So, as the Nike ad says, “Just do it.” … Read More
Ignite Your Passion this Valentine’s Day with a Sex Talk
It’s never a bad thing to have a sex talk with your partner, but it does require a thoughtful approach to ignite the passion in your relationship. Passion is what most couples I work with want more of when they assess their sexual needs. They want powerful, compelling emotions with … Read More
Love at First Sight: How Perceptions Impact Love
The old adage, love at first sight, may be more scientific than we originally thought. Author Erik Van Alstine, Automatic Influence, has researched the idea of perceptions impacting love. He argues that love is not a feeling first, it is first a perception. The feeling of love follows. What we … Read More
Couples Therapy: Experience Something New!
If couples are going to change, they are going to need more than knowledge about what they could do differently. They are going to need to risk doing things differently and have new, healing experiences. DH Lawrence wrote, The world fears a new experience more than it fears anything. Because … Read More
Codependency and How to Care for Yourself
Codependency can simply be described as helping others while harming yourself. Have you ever found yourself in a relationship where you felt as if you were going “crazy?” Have you ever found yourself excessively worried, preoccupied or even obsessed with your partner’s problems? Codependency involves reactions which are unhealthy forms of … Read More
Contempt – Relationship Poison
Dr. John Gottman has researched couples for over 40 years. One of the things that he is known for is being able to predict which couples would make it and which would fail with a 94% accuracy rate. Predicting individual behaviors and outcomes is tricky business with a very low … Read More
Making Your Twenties Count: Part 2
In the previous blog, we discussed why the 20’s are a critical decade. In this blog, we are going to focus on one of Meg Jay’s key points, which is exploration. Society has said that exploration is one of the most important factors in a person’s 20’s. So what is … Read More
What exactly is adolescence?
For many parents, understanding a bit about their teenager’s brain development can be helpful in navigating the sometimes difficult adolescent years. But first, what exactly are the adolescent years? What does the term “adolescence” even mean? Researchers and scientists have had a pretty difficult time coming to a consensus definition. … Read More
Facebook: Avoid Damaging the Intimacy in your Relationship
Since the birth of Facebook over a decade ago, it has grown from circulating among a few universities and businesses and is now incorporated as a part of most Americans everyday life. According to The Statistics Portal, Facebook is the number one leader in social media, now reaching 1.59 billion active … Read More
How to Motivate your Partner to Attend Couples Therapy
Couples therapy, for many individuals, continues to be seen as this mysterious, unforeseeable process that can be very anxiety-provoking to embark upon. Depending on your culture, beliefs and value system, turning to an “outsider” may be a very difficult decision for either partner. As a couples therapist, one of the … Read More