Break-ups can be extremely hurtful and distressing—regardless of if the relationship lasted weeks or years. It is ok and totally normal to feel sad after a relationship ends. A break-up can be upsetting whether you are being dumped or whether the dumping was your idea. While we all know break-ups … Read More
Cognitive Neuroscience Part 2: The Brain vs. The Mind
Over the next few posts, we’re going to talk about an emerging field of study called cognitive neuroscience. But don’t worry. We’re going to leave (most of) the 7-syllable words to the textbooks and wikipedia entries. Instead, we’re going to focus on the practical applications of this science on our … Read More
Reacting or Responding?
As I was reading recently, I came across a quote in Melody Beattie’s book Codependent No More that really spoke to me. “We jump into the first feeling that comes our way and then wallow in it…we are reacting without thinking. When we react we forfeit our personal, God-given power … Read More
The Single Girl’s Guide to Surviving Wedding Season
Wedding season is here! It is a time of joy, love, and happiness for the bride and groom. While everyone loves seeing people in love, it can feel really challenging if you are single. Regardless of how comfortable you are with your single life! Here are some tips for all … Read More
Relationships & Social Media
There is a deluge of information about the damaging effects of technology on relationships. A quick Internet search will pull up innumerable sources, from scientific journals to editorial rants, asserting that social media actually undercuts our ability to form healthy relationships. (For the record, I fully appreciate the absurdity of … Read More
Foster Friendship with Your Spouse
While there are differing schools of thought as to whether your spouse can truly be your best friend, one thing is for certain…successful marriages are built on solid friendship. John Gottman, PhD, has studied both the masters and the disasters of relationships for more than 40 years. He figured that … Read More
Quick Lifestyle Change that Can Help Reduce Depression
Living with depression can be overwhelming and daunting. Depression can impact the way you feel, think, and handle daily activities. Depression can feel a different for different people depending on the severity of the symptoms. It is one of the most common mental disorders in the U.S. It can feel … Read More
How Have Your Early Family Interactions Shaped Your Current Listening?
We often intrinsically know whether we feel listened to and understood, ignored, dismissed, or misunderstood by another person. But how often do we intentionally think about our capacity to listen in relationships – whether that’s work, family, romantic, social, or spiritual – and how often do we reflect on the connection between our early family experiences and how they taught us to listen (or not)? Here are a few questions to help you explore how you have learned to listen (and what you expect from other listeners).
Improve your Relationships by Increasing Positive Interactions
Do you keep score in your relationships of all the times your loved one has disappointed you? This can create a negative atmosphere that is difficult to overcome. I often tell my clients, “Whatever you are looking for you will find.” What I mean is, if you expect someone to disappoint you, you will only focus on what he/she is doing wrong, to prove you are right. I know we do this to protect ourselves from getting our hopes up and being let down. The problem with this behavior is we miss-out on the good things our loved one is doing.
The Power of [Just] Listening Well
Recently I’ve seen countless examples of people who are hurting, struggling, confused or angry – and they feel completely alone. It seems like the cause for some of the isolation can be traced back to friends, family, or trusted confidants who have no idea how to just be present… how to just listen.
We’re busy. Our thoughts are going a million miles per hour. We’re used to having so much information flying at us, that to stop, press pause, focus, and just listen requires so much discipline.