Speaking your story

This is a series of blogs that Dr. Dickinson wrote after returning from a recent trip to Africa. A few reflections, a few lessons learned. Enjoy the journey. 

Stories from Africa: Chapter 2
Speaking Your Story

 

Our primary purpose in going to Kenya this trip was to equip the Nurses, and Head Mistress at FAFU (the name of the school is actually Facing the Future) with some basic helping skills. They were noticing that so many of the children were not progressing developmentally or educationally because of the trauma that they had encountered.The trauma was preventing them from growing and thriving. The staff were so excited to learn about ways they could start to intervene and help the children processes what they had experienced.

 

We only had 4 days to pack as many tools into their helping tool box as we could. While trying to translate theories and concepts to another culture, language sometimes failed us. We found that analogies help to clearly communicate strategies, and simplify complex ideas.  Over and over again, while searching for a word picture to help explain the devastating effects of trauma on our minds, bodies, and hearts, we found ourselves returning to the idea of our story. Trauma fragments our story. It shatters meaning. It robs our sense of purpose and value.Because we are tormented by memories from our past, trauma destroys our ability to live peacefully in the present.

 

At one point in the day, Grace (the headmistress of the school), with a furrowed brow, leaned in for clarification. She was committed to understanding and not just nodding her head.  As we talked about how understanding our story is a huge part of working through trauma, a light dawned on her face. Her entire face seemed to light up, her eyes sparkled, and with a bright smile and a sense of triumph, she exclaimed, “I see! When you speak out your story, that is when the healing begins!”

 

What a beautiful moment. One that will live with me forever. Her summary was accurate. In trauma we feel isolated and alone. When we find the courage to put words around our story, others can then witness our pain. In witnessing our pain, they help to carry it. In sharing that experience we start to make meaning of what we have been through. And when we start to make meaning, we no longer find ourselves stuck in the pain of the past.

 

Wendy Dickinson, Ph.D.
WDickinson@ GROWcounseling.com