In any game, there are clear rules, guidelines, time-outs, and borders. If someone decides to play outside of the rules, there are clear penalties or the player might even have to take back the move and lose a turn. Sometimes, the rules are so detailed that the rules themselves become overwhelming and we decide to not even play the game. In any relationship, there are rules, guidelines, and consequences. As you begin to think about your relationships, what types of rules do you play by? Are your rules clear, confusing, or even unpredictable? Are you flexible in how you play and does everyone get equal time to play? When it comes to making decisions in the relationship, are you a team or are you playing against one another?
By having rules that are open for discussion amongst the participants, the game can be easily played. At different times of the game, the rules may need to be discussed or even changed as it progresses. However, it is important that everyone involved gets a voice in the discussion of changing rules. Whether the game is a marriage, a friendship, or even with children, it is important to make the game fun and easy enough for all people involved to have a great experience playing.
So, have some fun and set up a time to talk about your relationship with the ones you love and make sure everyone wants and can play the game has an equal opportunity to play fairly.
Adam R Glendye MA MFT, LAPC