Wii ™. It’s not just a game console. It is also a powerful concept for couples. It may take you a few moments to catch it, but it is worth the effort of thinking about it. Wii – it contains two lower case letters: both lower case i’s. Each i represents an individual within the Wii of the WE in a couple. Confusing? Yes, but stay with the thinking of Wii. Each individual within the unit of the couple is very important: i + i = we. Two healthy individuals (the i’s are not the selfish capital I) coming together to make the whole of Wii.

Relationships sometimes struggle with individuality. Within the partnership are two distinct people, yet each person has their own separate identity. This can be problematic because with some couples, one partner takes on the identity of the other partner. When the partners are so separated their lives rarely intersect, the opposite can be true, too.  A Wii unit is separate letters linked together. It takes into account each individual, but prioritizes the relationship. Wii is a WE with a capital W because sometimes individuals make compromises for the good of the relationship. The Wii is protected above the individual. Wii thinking is different from I thinking: it is not a selfish, what is best for me; instead it is for the good of the Wii.

Sometimes the Wii becomes WII or WiI or WIi. Most of us have witnessed relationships where one partner holds all the power or both partners strive for power again and again. Something is amiss because a dominant partner or perhaps both partners insist on their own way. A gentle reminder for couples: the balance for two individuals in a relationship is healthiest at the point of Wii.

Marlayne Whitlock, M.A., LAPC

mwhitlock@ GROWcounseling.com