Forgiveness is a process. A lot of people believe that forgiveness is accomplice in the “snap of the fingers”. I hear people say, “forgive and forget” all of the time.  However, forgiveness can take hours, days, weeks, months, or even years.  According to Life Innovations, “Forgiveness is the decision or choice to give up right for vengeance, retribution, and negative thoughts toward an offender in order to be free from anger or resentment.”  If you have been wronged, take your time in granting forgiveness. Make sure you work through the following steps below to ensure that you are not just tucking away your hurt and pain.

Here are 6 steps to Granting Forgiveness:

1)     Acknowledge your pain and anger. Allow yourself to feel disrespected.

2)     Be specific about your future expectations and limits.

3)     Give up your right to “get even”, but insist on being treated better in the futue

4)     Let go of blame, resentment, and negativity toward your partner.

5)     Communicate your act of forgiveness to your partner.

6)     Work toward reconciliation (when safe).

Adam Glendye, LAPC
AGlendye@ GROWCounseling.com