photo: Jason Howie, Creative Commons

Social media can definitely be a positive, constructive outlet for pro sports wives to support their husbands and their team, promote philanthropic projects, and to connect with other pro sports wives. However, throughout your husband’s career—with its many ups and downs—it can be very tempting to vent via social media.

For example, NFL player Darren Sproles’ wife, Michel, trashed the New Orleans Saints via Instagram for trading her husband. As a pro sports wife, you are you husband’s number one fan, and when you feel he’s being treated unfairly by his organization or teammates, it can be a natural reaction to want to protect him.

But it may not be wise to vent your frustration through social media.

There were negative consequences for Michel Sproles. She reports being under attack, ironically online, by New Orleans Saints fans. Other negative consequences can affect your husband directly. His team organization may begin to see him as an unnecessary liability if he has a complaining, disloyal wife. Ultimately your negative venting could cost your husband his job!  A pro sports wife may also cause major conflict within her marriage by exposing privately held negative feelings about the team.

There are ways of venting your frustrations while avoiding the negative consequences:

• Privately share with your husband your frustration and disappointment. Don’t act like everything’s ok and become explosive behind his back. Often he may be feeling the same way, and you both can discuss how best to move past the situation together in a productive way.
• Vent to trusted friends such as other pro sports wives and family members who can also identify with your feelings and give you support. They may share similar experiences and can offer advice about how to move forward.
• Encourage your husband to use assertive communication to ask questions or convey valid concerns to the team organization. Keep in mind this is a business and their decisions should not be taken personally.
• Enter into individual or marriage therapy to have a safe place to express your disappointment, anger, and hurt feelings. A trained therapist can offer effective coping skills during your difficult moments.

Porsha Williams, LAMFT

Pwilliams@ GROWcounseling.com