What is it about that person that makes me feel that I really don’t like being around them? Is it her perfume, or his cologne? Is it the fact that they didn’t shower this morning, and should have? Maybe it’s their personality. There are various personalities and they don’t always jell with all the others around them. Different world views, different cultures, being raised in one home as opposed to another, all too some extent play a part in a person’s personality. It’s always helpful to give the other person the latitude to be who they are. We’re not standing in their shoes and don’t have their perspective on the issues. By often irrationally jumping to conclusions about someone, limits our ability to relate to them and find out whether they’re someone we’d like to befriend. Remember, you too have a personality that anyone else could find objectionable.

It’s written “in order to have friends, one must themselves be friendly.” Personality traits are quite diverse. There are different assortments and are often mixed in just the right proportions. The traits lend themselves to reaching out to others who might have similar mixings, thus creating friendships. Friendships are important, but don’t always last forever. Even after many years personalities can become conflictive, and those once strong friendships can suffer harm and deterioration. That’s why it’s helpful to know what one’s personality consists of and how it best interacts with those around. There are tests that are given by trained professionals to assist in knowing what one’s traits are, and the benefits of knowing may help in keeping conflicts down and friendships longer lasting.

Mark Ellison, LAMFT
mellison@ GROWcounseling.com