For many individuals and couples, there is a shroud of secrecy around pregnancy, especially in the first trimester. For those struggling with infertility, this becomes an incredibly sensitive time in their lives. Unfortunately, most miscarriages take place in the first trimester, and for those grieving this overwhelming loss, it can be a very lonely time. If family and friends have not yet been told about the pregnancy, how can the topic of a miscarriage be discussed? More often than not, the topic is buried deep within oneself because no one is discussing the loss.

When the loss of a family member through death occurs, the custom of friends and neighbors gathering and bringing food as well as offering emotional support is commonplace. Those impacted by the loss feel the support of their community. This support allows those who are grieving a place and time to begin processing the loss.

Unfortunately, society has in some way placed loss through miscarriage or infertility in a completely different category. Because of this, there is insufficient time and support given to those who have suffered loss. Sometimes there is nowhere to discuss the loss because family and friends do not talk about it. It is a very isolated time for many people.

If you or someone you know is struggling with the loss of miscarriage, remember that grieving is a normal response to any loss. If you haven’t had a place to talk about the loss, finding a safe person and place to begin the process of healing would be beneficial. Don’t suffer in silence.

Marlayne Whitlock, M.A., LAPC

mwhitlock@ GROWcounseling.com