photo: A National Acrobat, Creative Commons

The idea of lamenting a loss traces its roots back to ancient times.

When loss occurred, the community took the time to surround those who had suffered and allowed them the emotional space to offer a cry of sorrow and grief.  

Often the community itself offered a cry of sorrow for a loss.

This is far from our modern day thinking about grief.

In modern America, many people expect a person to get back to their routine pretty quickly after the funeral. It is as if they expect the grieving to be over quickly.  The reality is that it takes time for emotions to settle after any loss.

After the death of a loved one, there is an adjustment to a life that will never be the same again. This is not instantaneous. The first year after the loss of a loved one can be very difficult. There are holidays, anniversaries, and birthdays that come around reminding those grieving that life has shifted dramatically.

Give yourself and others permission to lament.

Lamenting allows tears, crying, and even sobbing. It offers those left behind a physical act for mourning the loss. It is a healthy way to grieve.

Marlayne Whitlock, M.A., LAPC

mwhitlock@ GROWcounseling.com