We find ourselves constantly involved in people’s lives. Whether we’re working with them or whether they’re our family, we are continuously interacting with others. What makes the difference of merely interacting or truly connecting with someone? It begins with interest in them. So often, we encounter individuals in our associations that we desire to know more deeply than as casual acquaintances. They become more of a priority to us and we develop a deeper sense of connection with them. Our dialogue usually takes us to a more intimate place than those with whom we only interact. Why are connections so important? Ever feel alone at times? Well, when we have real connection with someone, they can help remove that loneliness like nothing else.

A kindly reminder or a familiar laugh about something that happened long ago, can work wonders when someone with whom we’ve connected said it. There may only be one or two persons in our lives that we’re this familiar with, however, having those few can still be extremely healthy for someone. We all have a need for connection, not only interaction. We interact with shop clerks and credit bureaus. We have connection with those we desire to be with, those with whom we share our innermost secrets (good and bad). Who knows us best than those that connection means the most? Do you find yourself vulnerable enough to have connections or has life’s circumstances left you without a good mentor or role model from which to understand connection?

Without learning what it means to be open with someone, it can be daunting to all of a sudden be willing to do so. However, that can be some of the best time to not only learn about someone else, but it’s a great time to learn about oneself. How easily revealing things becomes when there’s connection. When you’re in the midst of crisis, having a person with whom there’s real connection, can mean wonders in regard to receiving compassion and understanding. Yet, at the same time someone with whom there’s real connection can be honest in pointing out where we may be at fault in a particular situation. If there’s only interaction with others a short circuit can cause conflict and stress. Can this happen even with those with whom we’re connected, possibly, but there’s more of a chance that because of real connection any interruption in communication or ill feelings will be of shorter duration.

Let’s remember to understand that interaction with others is essential to our daily lives, but connection is where the real relationships exist and a greater sense of being is established. Keep striving for connection, and the deeper your understanding of someone else and yourself will become.

Mark Ellison, LAMFT
mellison@ growcounseling.com