Personal identity is a tricky thing. We are always growing, always changing individuals, and just as soon as you think you’ve got yourself all figured out, a new situation or life stage begins and you have to get to know yourself all over again.

Our identities are often difficult to pin down. On any given day, we might describe ourselves completely differently based on situation, mood, or even whether or not we’ve eaten recently. Popular culture also often tells us that based on the fact that you’re a single mom, or work in finance, or come from a certain part of the country, that you’re supposed to act a certain way or hold certain beliefs.

However, underneath all of that there are some core values, beliefs, and world views that shape you into your unique self and dictate how you interact with your world.

Digging into where your beliefs come from, why the things that are important to you are important, and teasing out whether you believe things because you’re “supposed” to or if you are strongly convicted about them will enrich your life and relationships.

We often take the time to get to know others while neglecting to ask ourselves the same deep, probing questions. Sometimes, this is due to fear of what we’ll find if we start looking too hard in the mirror, and sometimes it is just because we don’t make ourselves a priority.

Whatever the reason, while it might not always be a pain-free process, taking the time to get to know yourself in a deep, meaningful way will pay off major dividends in self-confidence, quality relationships, and well-being. Spend some time with yourself, dig into who you are and what is important to you, and you won’t regret the investment.

Molly Halbrooks, LAMFT
mhalbrooks @ growcounseling.com