Willpower is defined as the ability to do what matters most even when it is difficult. I used to think of willpower in terms of self-improvement and/or deprivation. When I lacked willpower, I felt as if I failed in some moral way. Turns out, science is more involved. Researchers have learned that willpower is a response that comes from both the body and the brain, according to Dr. Kelly McGonigal, author of The Willpower Instinct.
The willpower response is a reaction to an internal conflict.
You want to do one thing, such as smoke a cigarette or supersize your lunch, but know you shouldn’t. Or you know you should do something, like file your taxes or go to the gym, but you’d rather do nothing.
Willpower lives in the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain that is involved with decision making, controlling impulses, keeping focus, and regulating emotions. This means we need to take care of our brain by watching what we eat and getting plenty of rest, so the prefrontal cortex has enough energy to perform its job. Imagine willpower is like a muscle, which gets exhausted by overuse. According to McGonigal, “trying to control your temper, ignore distractions or refuse seconds all tap the same source of strength.”
So when we are stressed, overly tired or anxious, the focus is on immediate gratification and finding the easiest way to avoid pain and conflict.
Our goal is to feel better and to feel better now. As a result, we may not be aware our brain is moving away from long-term goals. Learning to recognize your own signs when you are stressed is one of the most important steps in improving your willpower. Sometimes simply remembering to stop and take a few deep breaths when overwhelmed or tempted can have a big effect.
Ann Sheerin, MA
Asheerin @ GROWcounseling.com
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