Many parents want a better relationship with their teens but navigating the “push-pull” of teen years can be challenging. The teen years are all about young adults figuring out who they want to be in this world. Parents often start to feel the “push” when teens are attempting to separate themselves from their family to test out the world and the “pull” when teens decide they still need their family’s guidance.  Here are some thoughts to help re-energize your relationship with your teen while navigating this confusing stage:

Do Something Shocking or Surprising- watch your teens favorite show with them, leave your teen a note about how great they are, or something you usually do not do but you think they might like.

Ask specific questions about your teen’s day- such as “How did your history presentation go, I know you were concerned about it” or “Did you like the movie you watched with your friend last night?”

Use “I” statements when communicating your concerns- Such as “When you decided not to finish your homework last night I felt disappointed because I want you to have options for your future.

The main message to send to your teen is that you are still there to help guide them but you understand they must test out the world around them and make hard decisions which they will not always get right the first time around.

Jennifer Wilmoth, LAMFT
jwilmoth@ GROWcounseling.com