I think John Mayer said it best “Fathers be good to your daughters, Daughters will love like you do….So mothers, be good to your daughters too.” In other words parents your kids are watching how you love, encourage, and treat them and others. Even though you are not responsible for how your kid chooses to be towards others you do have a responsibility to model and show your kid how to treat others. Sometimes encouragement can be a make it or break it point in a parent-child relationship. When parents look for opportunities to encourage their kids it communicates they believe in the kid’s ability; of course not offering encouragement or putting down your kids often communicates the opposite.

Here is a quick look at the difference between encouragement and praising for reaching a standard. Encouragement is making positive statements about a kid’s efforts regardless of the end result. So if a child receives an average grade on a paper (the child worked really hard on) encouraging the child would be commenting on all the effort and time the child spent on the assignment. On the other hand, praising for reaching a standard would be commenting on the child getting or (in this case) not getting a high grade on the paper. So here is the challenge: Find at least one encouraging statement to say to a child this week and watch what happens.

Adapted from S.T.E.P Program.

Jennifer Wilmoth, LAMFT
JWilmoth@ GROWCounseling.com