It is that time of year when frightening creatures appear in unexpected places.   In my opinion, dementors top the list of the very scariest.  As any Harry Potter fan can tell you, when dementors come close, one’s very heart becomes cold and one is dragged downward into a thick, white fog swirling all about.   One cannot think clearly and is prone to fits of shaking, or even fainting.   Ron Weasley says it best after his first encounter with a dementor, “ I felt weird, like I’d never be cheerful again…”

No doubt, J.K. Rowling simply observed interactions amongst people to get the idea for this creature.  In some exchanges, one finds individuals whose goal seems to be sucking the life right out of another person.  You walk away from an encounter with such a person and your optimism for life has been zapped away.  The cure seems simple enough in literature; conjure the silvery light and protection of a patronus and (my favorite) always keep chocolate on hand to eat after an encounter with a dementor (it helps the warmth to return).

In real life, chocolate is no cure for an interaction with a hurtful person. (Although some studies show that chocolate changes the serotonin concentrations in the brain which may lead to a feeling of happiness.)  I think what may be more helpful is learning to recognize people who may be unsafe.   We all have this propensity, so learning to recognize unsafe people may mean recognizing it in ourselves too.  Unsafe people do not respect the boundaries of others.  Interactions with them lead to a feeling of isolation, not connectedness.  Paying attention to the coldness of one’s heart is an important starting point.  When dementors are nearby, a definite chill in the air precedes their actual presence.   Stay alert. And stock up on chocolate.

Marlayne Whitlock, MS
mwhitlock@ GROWcounseling.com