Do you ever find yourself stressing about situations that you really don’t have any control over? What’s that like for you? How does it make you feel? Do you find yourself feeling sad or worried or not so much? There are many factors in life either from the environment or from family that can make us feel very anxious, especially if we feel unable to do anything concerning them. So then, what are your coping skills or mechanisms that enable you to move on and possibly grow and develop from life’s “curveballs?” Do you require a drink, or two, or maybe three in order to handle the situation? What about something a little less telling such as a joint, “just to calm the nerves” of course. Maybe that isn’t sufficient so you stretch for a little bit more and attempt some drug that you’ve only heard about, but hope it will do the trick. Can’t happen to you, you say? The fact is that it can and does every day of the week.

What then? If we find ourselves in circumstances that are requiring more of substance use or possibly abuse and less fortitude on our part, how are we learning about self-reliance or asking for assistance when we know it’s necessary? The trouble then becomes compounded. The conditions don’t just vanish or go away never to be seen again. No, they’re very real and will continue to be so even after we awaken from either a drunken stupor or a voracious high. The stress factor becomes even greater and thus the cycle continues.

As individuals understand that when a state of affairs occur, and are not within their control, they often are not alone. There are those who have the ability to be there and lend a word of advice and wisdom to the situation. By succumbing to the pressure and self-medicating, the world can become that much more difficult in which to live. Seeking out answers to life’s complexities is the mark of true understanding. However, this understanding is not for oneself, it’s doing in like and passing it on to others who are finding themselves with the same stress and/or loss of control. “The greatest thing in this world is not so much where we are, but in what direction we are moving.” Oliver Wendell Holmes

Mark Ellison, LAMFT