We all have experience with a break-up. Whether you wanted the relationship to end or not, it can be quite distressing. Maybe it was an unhealthy relationship that you could not wait to leave, or maybe you were blind sighted by someone you completely gave your heart to.

We all cope with heartache in different ways, but it is important to prioritize self-care after experiencing a break-up.

“This is a good sign, having a heart broken. It means we have tried for something.” – Elizabeth Gilbert

• Take time for you. It can be tempting to jump into another relationship. But if there are unresolved issues, you will carry them into your next relationship. It is helpful to take time to reflect on what happened with your ex and learn from it. It is also important to know who we are as individuals. Figuring out who you are without your ex can be a liberating experience and can give you a lot of self-confidence. Also, don’t check up on your ex on social media; it’s not going to make you feel better.
• Community is important. Whether it’s just one person or a group of people that you trust, you are going to need some kind of support system. You should not have to walk around with this by yourself. You need people who are going to check up on you and make sure you are taking care of yourself. They are going to want to walk through this valley with you; you are not going to burden them.
• Be empowered. What are the things in your life that give you strength? For some, this is faith, art, exercise, or music. Whatever it is that gives you life, pursue that intentionally. Listen to that song that makes you feel strong, or read the poem or scripture that gives you peace. Take time to travel and try new things. As horrible as break-ups are, it provides a unique opportunity to know oneself.

Give yourself permission to be upset.

No matter how it ended, you just said goodbye to someone you cared about. You may feel like your heart is broken. You don’t need to pretend everything is ok to keep up appearances or shame yourself for having emotions. Take the time to feel and express those feelings.

Written By: Elizabeth Kraich, LAPC