No man is an island.  You’ve probably heard that phrase before. Yet, what does it mean? Can we possibly walk through this life by ourselves, without desiring to surround ourselves with others who care about us? Do we want to? We all have experienced difficult relationships at one time or another, sometimes leading to the end of the relationship. What drives us on to create new ones? It’s that inner yearning to be with people who share our dreams or have similar opinions concerning important issues to us.

Again and again individuals find themselves living through associations and building bonds with those they hope will help satisfy their need for love and affection. Creating intimacy with different persons can almost seem as though one is “island walking.” That condition of being careful to only step on just the right ground in order to escape falling into open waters which may reveal hidden imperfections, and thereby destroying yet another optimistic association. So, what’s the answer? Where is one to get on firm ground and consistently create positive outcomes for their current affiliations? The best place to begin is within.

It is written that “In order to have friends, one must be friendly.”

Are you?

When was the last time you reached out to make that important phone call?

Do you always answer when friends call, or do you let voicemail pick up because you’re “too busy”?

Do you remember birthdays, anniversaries, important moments in people’s lives?

Are you easily offended when others forget yours?

This is the time to reflect upon yourself and how you view the significant folks in your life and what they truly mean to you. Stop “island walking” and get involved. You’re life could have more meaning and fulfillment almost immediately.

Mark Ellison, LAMFT
mellison@ GROWcounseling.com