The fourth strategy I mentioned is to take some time to calm down when you find yourself getting too hot to keep your cool. Most of us have the tendency to say things we later regret when we are angry. Unfortunately, those that are the closest to us get the brunt of that more often than we would like.

Biting your tongue can be one of the most difficult things to do, especially when you’re frustrated. Taking some time to cool off and gather your thoughts can be the greatest thing you can do to save your relationship with your children. For some people it is best to take a walk for a few minutes or listen to a couple of your favorite songs. Whatever it is that helps you calm down and refocus, give it a try the next time you’re in a heated argument.

Be careful not to put off addressing the issue too long though. For some situations a few minutes may be appropriate. Sometimes you may even need a few hours depending on how severely your tempers have roused. Whatever the case, be sure to address the issue once you have had enough time to calm down. Don’t ignore something that has to be dealt with because that will only lead to a greater rift between you.

Check out last week’s post on Anger & Negotiating.

Nick Hersey, LAMFT, LAPC

nhersey@ GROWcounseling.com