As I mentioned in previous blogs, defense mechanisms like denial, are unconscious responses to overwhelming stress in our lives. Although they serve an important purpose, if left unchecked, protective instincts from defense mechanisms can inhibit the development of healthier coping skills. Today, we are going to dive into the topic of regression.

Nowhere is this more evident than in the defense mechanism known as regression.

While denial might enable us to cope with a stressful situation by denying its existence, regression minimizes our agency in addressing the problem by retreating to a safer, less mature developmental perspective.

Regression is easy to see in young children because changes in development and ability are so readily apparent. Faced with the arrival of a new baby brother or sister, it is not uncommon for children to exhibit behaviors consistent with earlier stages of development and begin to struggle with tasks previously mastered. Accomplishments that previously brought pride are now rejected as maturity is equated with separation, rather than achievement.

Regression shows up in adult lives too. The term “failure to launch” describes people who prefer to return to their parents’ home rather than pursue adult autonomy. It is important to note that the decision to move back in with parents isn’t necessarily an indication of regressive behavior; the regressive defense response speaks more to the motivation than the action itself.

In a regressive state, the pressures inherent to our stage of life are so uncomfortable that we are willing to compromise our autonomy, our independence, and our personal agency (and disrupt the lives of the people close to us) for the safety represented by an earlier stage of life.

From a regressive perspective, developmental maturity results in responsibility, evaluation, and expectations; while conversely, immaturity elicits care, protection, and security. However, the safety provided by regression often comes at the price of our credibility, our self-confidence, and our self-respect.

Recognizing the effect of our regressive behavior on others and developing stress management skills foster the confidence and motivation necessary to minimize regressive tendencies.

Jill Howgate
jhowgate@growcounseling.com