In part one of this short series we defined what self-care is and why it is important. In part two, we talked about the difference between self-care and zoning out. But if spending two hours scrolling through my Instagram feed doesn’t qualify as self-care, then what does?

The best place to start is with diet, sleep and exercise. It is impossible to understate how important these three things are to self-care and maintaining your mental health. For example, some research even suggests that diet, sleep and exercise can help minimize the effects of depression and anxiety disorders. The connection may have to do with the fact that all three have an influence on regulating brain chemistry. Finally, when it comes to these “big three” it can be helpful to recognize that they all influence each other. In other words, the more you exercise the better your sleep will be. And vice versa.

When working with clients on self-care, I usually start by assessing the big three. After that, the conversation gets much more creative and open-ended. I usually ask my clients a question along the lines of:

If you woke up tomorrow morning full of energy and you realized you had the entire day to yourself, how would you spend it?

The “full of energy” part is important. Something doesn’t have to be relaxing to be self-care. For example, I had one client who described her gardening as an act of self-care. It was exhausting for her, and particularly hard on her knees. She talked about how even though the activity was physically tiring for her, it left her feeling mentally and emotionally energized.

What makes you feel full of life?

Think about the last 6 months of your life. When did you feel most energized and alive? Was it when you were traveling? Practicing a hobby? Hanging out with a certain group of people? Volunteering with an organization?

Personally, three of my acts of self care are: (1) exploring, (2) photography and (3) spending time with my wife. Whenever I find myself getting short-tempered or stressed out, that’s when I know its time to grab my camera and go explore a new part of the city with my wife. I might be tired and tempted to zone out in front of the television – but those times spent exploring the city with my wife are always more re-energizing than four hours of SportsCenter.

Eric McClerren, LAPC
emcclerren @ growcounseling.com