“I promise this is the last time I will use… (fill in drug of choice)”.

If you are in a relationship with someone who is struggling with addiction, you have most likely heard those words. You probably have believed those words time and time again, only to be hurt and let down again and again. You may have wondered, “What is wrong with me?” or “Why am I not enough for him or her?” The answer: nothing is wrong with you, and you are enough.

However, a research study published in Harvard Health Publications called, “Overcoming Addiction: Path Toward Recovery,” has shown that addictive drugs, as common as nicotine all the way to heroin, cause a surge of dopamine in the part of the brain called the nucleus accumbens. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter that helps to control the pleasure and reward centers of the brain, while the nucleus accumbens is a cluster of nerve cells that are underneath the cerebral cortex. Using an addictive drug results in dopamine being released the nucleus accumbens and therefore stimulating the brains’ reward and pleasure sensors.

This research explains why individuals feel pleasure when using an addictive drug.

In spite of this, is simply feeling pleasure enough to make someone an addict? Research has also shown that dopamine interacts with a different neurotransmitter called glutamate. This hijacks the brain’s system of reward related learning. The reward related learning system involves areas associated with memory, motivation and pleasure. As a result, the addictive substance or even addictive behavior begin to overload the circuit.

Loving someone who is struggling with an addiction is difficult.

It can be hurtful and leave us feeling exhausted, weighed down, and angry at the world. You may feel responsible for your loved one and may feel trapped in an unhealthy relationship. Sometimes it is helpful to understand the medical side effects and technicalities of “why” our loved one is making the choices that he or she is making. There is always support, love, and hope for you during this difficult time. Counseling may be a way to get the additional support that you need while navigating the complexities of this relationship.

Chelsey Beauchamp, MS
cbeauchamp @ growcounseling.com