So, you suspect that your teen is viewing pornography. You feel like maybe you should have a conversation about that. Here we discuss 3 common barriers parents face when wanting to having this important conversation.

Barrier 1: “In the area of sexual matters, I am certainly no expert. I’m pretty sure my own list of struggles and failures disqualifies me from having anything helpful to say.”

Since we are all imperfect human beings, this is a normal fear and area of struggle. It is important that the values you teach your children are consistent with the behaviors you are currently modeling. At the same time, your past poor choices may actually prove really valuable in your conversation with your children. Avoid offering explicit details, but do consider sharing honestly, “You know, I have not always made the best choices and here are some of the consequences I faced as a result…I do believe in the possibility of healing and restoration…and I also hope you might be able to avoid experiencing the same painful path I have travelled.”

If you are currently struggling with sexual integrity, I encourage you to seek the help of a professional counselor in navigating this complicated conversation. Some level of authenticity is critical and knowing what, when, and how to share is a delicate balancing act. If you have not yet actively engaged in your own healing process, your child will understandably have a difficult time receiving any wisdom from you. But if you model healthy ownership of your struggles, your example can actually free your child to do the same.

Mindy Pierce, LPC
MPierce @ GrowCounseling.com

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