photo: vastateparksstaff, Creative Commons

“With all the violence and natural disasters in the media today my children are constantly afraid. What can I do to help them not be so scared all the time?”

There are a number of different things we parents can do to help minimize our children’s fears, as I’ve noted in the previous posts, but more than most anything else our children need a sense of security. For a child to know their parents are there to take care of him has the propensity to create a stable platform for him to build off of and excel.

We live in an imperfect world where violence and disaster are rampant.

One of the most significant things we can do for our children is to let them know we are there to take care of them. While the daily provisions a parent provides can often be overlooked – things like food, clothing, shelter, etc. – that is by no means the extent of our obligation. Children need to know that we are there to protect them, not just provide the basic necessities.

When our son comes home to tell us about a bully on the school bus, he needs us to protect him. When our daughters cross the road for the first time, they need us to teach them to look both ways for traffic. When an armed person unloads an assault rifle on a classroom full of children, our kids need to know that we are going to do everything possible to protect them.

Protection goes deeper than most other needs.

It creates a sense of safety that promotes healthy development.

When a child feels like her parent is protecting her, she will learn to trust, which will shape and mold her perspective on life.  Self-esteem, confidence, and security are all rooted in a child’s feeling like mommy & daddy are going to protect them.

Of course parents cannot protect their children from everything. But a child who knows their parent would do anything they can to protect them will have a much easier time letting go of their fears.

A simple “I’m here to protect you from…” can have a tremendous impact on a scared child.

Nick Hersey, LAMFT, LAPC

nhersey@ GROWcounseling.com