We are discussing various tips for the holidays when you are in a new relationship, casually dating several people, or in a relationship that hasn’t been officially defined. This time of year can be stressful and filled with pressure and expectations for all dating relationships. So far we’ve talked about when to define the relationship and whether or not to invite each other home for the holidays. Today let’s focus on giving gifts.

When It Comes to Giving Gifts, Communication is Key

It’s very important to communicate about your expectations about giving gifts. Your date will appreciate knowing what to do or not do. If you’ve never been in the situation of giving a gift to someone and not having the same sentiment returned (or vice versa), then you don’t yet know how awkward this can be. The comfort level with gift giving/receiving can be different for everyone.

If you have been together for a while, chances are, you should be giving gifts. However, if it’s a new relationship, the two of you need to decide if you are doing gifts or not. You may not be ready for this step. Talk about it ahead of time so that expectations are clear.

Also, avoid buying an expensive gift unless you are clearly in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. Give a gift that matches but doesn’t exceed your date’s efforts or the seriousness of the relationship. If you have only been on one or two dates, don’t give gifts at all. Instead make a treat; give a card, wine, flowers, or candy, something you might also give a neighbor, friend, or work associate. This is a kind gesture that shows you are thinking about them, but not assuming the relationship is more serious than it is.

If you have agreed to give each other gifts, you may also want to decide when you are going to do this gift exchange, and whether you will be alone or with other people.

You simply can’t over-communicate about this aspect of the holiday season.

Stacey Wald, LAPC, RD

Swald @ growcounseling.com