How often do you find yourself thinking some version of, “If I just lost a little weight, exercised more, ate a better diet, made a little more money, improved my health, had more inspiring work, lived in a nicer place, improved my relationships (or something else), then I’d be happy”? It seems that a lot of women are caught up in this cycle of constantly striving for perfection and improvement in some way in order to be acceptable. Otherwise, we seem destined to inferiority and unhappiness.

As a counselor who works with a lot of women, I see this inability to accept ourselves manifesting itself in a negative body image. We don’t like that our stomach is not perfectly flat; or our thighs are too big; our ankles or knees are unattractive in some way; our hips too wide; or many other such thoughts. Ultimately, this type of thinking creates a constant state of comparison to others who seem to have it all. A poor body image is often connected to an overall low self-esteem and may be connected to depression or anxiety.

I call this growing phenomenon a lack of self acceptance. I often ask clients: “What would it be like to fully accept yourself in all of these areas simply as you are right now?” This is often a difficult question for them to imagine or answer. Carl Rogers, who was an influential psychologist, once said, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” I have found this quote to contain profound truth.

Because of the pervasiveness of low self esteem, poor body image, lack of self acceptance, constant self evaluations and comparisons, GROW created a group for women where they can begin to address these issues. We will begin this 8 week group on September 11th, and it’s not too late to register.  Please visit the group page for more information.

Stacey Wald, LAPC, RD

swald@ growcounseling.com