The fifth tactic I stated was to be assertive. Assertiveness can be very difficult at times, but in all relationships the ability to communicate assertively lowers the likelihood of misunderstandings. Communicating with our children is no different. Unfortunately, it’s not always easy to tell someone exactly what you want from him or her when you’re frustrated, so this often takes a tremendous amount of effort.

There is a clear distinction that needs to be made here between being assertive and being aggressive. At no point in our conversations is it healthy to try to be hurtful or demeaning. On the contrary, assertiveness is simply stating your points of view and communicating your needs simply and clearly with the intention of leaving no room for misunderstanding.

Additionally, parents often have expectations for our children that they either can’t or won’t meet for one reason or another. At times, we may even think that our children should already know what we want from them. I mean after all, haven’t we been telling them the same thing for years now? Nonetheless, we have to remember to be the more mature person and set the examples we want our children to follow. And most importantly, modeling assertive communication will prepare them for interacting both personally as well as professionally.

Check out last week’s post on Anger & Keeping Your Cool.

Nick Hersey, LAMFT, LAPC

nhersey@ GROWcounseling.com