After three weeks of coordinating schedules and organizing supervision for a total of 3 children, my husband and I went on a double date. What started off to be just a fun night out turned out to be so much more. As the conversation progressed throughout the evening, I found myself thinking about the similarities and differences in each relationship. We also validated, supported, encouraged and even modeled each other’s behavior. At one point my friend even stated, “This is so therapeutic.” This got me to wondering, could double-dating be beneficial to your relationship?
The book Two Plus Two: Couples and Their Couple Friendships uses research from 2008-2010 suggest there are many benefits for your relationship from couple friendships. Here are just a few:
- People can use other couple friends as a model to emulate or say, “let’s never do that or I really liked the way he/she did that.”
- It promotes conversations about how you see your own relationship in comparison to another.
- It can allow you to see your partner in a different or more positive light due to a change in the routine and environment at home, causing them to be more attractive to you.
Some things to keep in mind if you plan to double date:
- Seek out couple friendships that are a good fit for you and your partner.
- Have the discussion about the type of couple friends that are conducive to your lifestyle (children, hobbies, time, etc.)
- Avoid couple friendships that seem to make you feel uncomfortable or declines the health of your relationship (argumentative, abusive, major differences).
Porsha Williams, LAMFT
Pwilliams@GROWcounseling.com