There is much confusion and misinformation out there about “anger”.  It is probably the most feared and least accepted emotion we experience as human beings.  Is it a sin?  Many people have been taught this and believe it.  Does it mean I am a bad person and I should feel guilty about my feelings and expressions of anger?  Many people have also been taught this message about anger.

In fact, anger is one of the many emotions that naturally occur within us.  Anger in and of itself is not a bad emotion; however, the way we express it may not be healthy or productive.  It’s important to know that our anger is trying to tell us something.  So, we would do ourselves a favor to pay attention and learn from it.

Many people have never learned how to deal appropriately with their anger and how to express it in a healthy way.  This is probably the aspect that troubles most people about their anger.  A lot of people are completely disengaged from their anger because they weren’t allowed to be angry in their family when they were children.

Anger has also been known as a secondary emotion, meaning that it may be covering up the true primary emotion underneath.  Common emotions or feelings underneath anger are usually insecurity, fear, or shame.  When these are felt, one may express them as anger instead of what they truly feel, because anger can make a person feel powerful.

When we are stressed out or overly stimulated, we tend to react much more easily in anger than when we are peaceful, rested, and centered.  Whatever your issue with anger, whether not understanding where it comes from, being unable to express it in healthy ways, or not even feeling it, counseling can help you get to the bottom of it and deal with it appropriately.

Stacey Wald, LAPC, RD
swald @GROWcounseling.com