In previous blogs, there were examples the way families approach conflict. Exploring your family’s pattern of conflict resolution can be a great start in learning to recognize how you respond to conflict and express anger. Here are a few more questions that may be helpful to think through.
- What role did you play in family interactions when you were angry? Your parents? Siblings?
- Who had the most power in your family? How did this person maintain it? Is this true today? Why or why not?
- Are you practicing the same pattern you recognize in present day relationships?
- What would you like to change about your patterns of dealing with conflict and the way you express anger?
If you are practicing some unhealthy anger patterns, identifying the pattern is the first step in the process of changing your behavior. Often, we do not recognize how the patterns we participate in affect our relationships. If you find yourself repeating arguments over and over again that never seem to resolve themselves, it may be helpful to discuss this with a professional to implement changing your own response and breaking the cycle.
Marlayne Whitlock, LAPC
mwhitlock@ growcounseling.com
Adapted from Torn Asunder workbook