Kids Talking Back?

I read an interesting article the other day and the question was posed: “Should Kids be encouraged to talk back to their parents?” I thought to myself “no!” but then as I thought more about this simple question, I needed to think through my answer and give a more appropriate answer. So here it goes:

Yes, parents should encourage their kids to think about what they are being told. For example, consider a mother and a four year old son who loves to eat cookies any chance he gets. When the kid asks for a cookie, instead of just saying “no” the mom replies back, “no, because we are eating dinner in a few minutes”. Not only does the mom give the answer but she takes the few seconds to explain why she is saying no. Let’s take it one step further: the four year old replies back, “but I want one!” Mom replies back: “the answer is still ‘no’ because if you eat a cookie now you will not be hungry for dinner.” Parenting is a difficult job. Making sure you are communicating with your child by encouraging and instilling the reasoning skills he or she will need later in life when they go off to school for the first time, middle-school, high-school, college, and ultimately for their career. Being able to question answers in a direct, calm, and thoughtful way to articulate their answers and questions will help your child be the most prepared they can be for life ahead.

On the other hand, parents need not encourage the yelling, temper, nor uncontrolled “talking back” from their children. By having clear consequences for behaviors, both parents and children will know the rules and their consequences. So, parents, encourage the discussions by showing your children, from a young age, how to communicate their thoughts, questions, and answers.