One can only hope so. As couples face the busyness of life, with its challenges and struggles, so often they fail to make time for intimacy with each other. I hear, well, our schedules just don’t provide the opportunity for it as much as they used to. Or, I’m not feeling that interested right now. These might be fine for very brief periods. Such as if one is ill or the other feels inundated with work’s timeframes. Only for very significant reasons that both parties mutually agree upon. This should not be the usual course of the relationship.

Intimacy is very much an important aspect of a loving relationship. To share that time where one can express their feelings in a way unlike that with any other is vital. To be able to be vulnerable, to the deepest extent possible, is an illustration of one’s utmost affection for the other person. To be enraptured within each other’s embrace, and share the bond that a healthy and intimate demonstration offers, is unmatched by any other means. So the bottom line is “make the time!” Once it’s done on a regular basis it becomes much easier to “fit it in.” Each person is given 24 hours in a day. How much is necessary to sleep? How much is necessary to be at work? If you work at an office, do your best to leave work at the office. If you work at home, schedule your time so it includes the other party. If you have children, call grandparents, they’ll love to spoil them for you.

If a couple makes plans to be with one another intimately, then usually that tie will become very difficult to break. The deeper the commitment, the easier it will be to stride life’s hurdles. Living doesn’t always present itself with effortless circumstances, it’s imperative that couples make the most of the time that they have together. Creating intimacy doesn’t just come from saying “I love you.” No, there are walks together holding hands, there is making the bed together and then falling on it, just to be playful. There is cleaning the dishes together and discussing one’s day. There are so many ways in which to enjoy real intimacy, that there is no excuse not to.

Mark Ellison, LAMFT
Mellison@ GROWcounseling.com